I'm in pain
a lot of it
and I can't seem to understand
or get around it or go through it.
I see Gabriella Hoppe my teacher putting her hand on her shoulder, just to show that I can just
Put it there. Softly, warmly, in a supportive, gentle, accepting way
And yet I
Still push myself into it, fight it
Try and take it away
And what's with my lower back?Haven't heard from it since I was going through a crisis in 96'
When my beloved Jessie, my dog, died and we didn't have our own space to live in and there were problems getting pregnant.
Suddenly my back has come back! To tell me what?
All the intersections in my body are screaming...something, my knees, particularly the right
Can I have a pain-less day?
And tired , no energy...aagh!
And yesterday I observed and discovered suddenly the way I am
As one coach put it , circular- (and that's ok)
It was such a different day!
Wrote in my notebook
Typed a post on my blog
Cleaned the house
Had a last glance at my book on Greek Gold that I gave to my friend
Back home, rested
Received the kids
Read the chapter on Inner Ground of Lifestreams by David Boadella , founder of the pschosomatic therapy known as Biosynthesis I am studying
Helped the kids with their bikes to go riding on the carless streets in Yom Kippur
Watched Elizabeth Gilbert on TED
Watched an amazing film called "Racing Daylight" from the Spiritual Circle Cinema
And a short doc on a lady called Jenny Funkmeyer
Got inspired and went to work on my art!
And in closing the day, wrote three things I am grateful for:
My kids my loves
Being given a second and third chance
Cornflakes, I just love them!
So why the low energy today? Maybe I can just accept it instead of fighting it?
Maybe because it started so differently, looking outward instead of inward?
Or simply because it was a difficult night?
Peace...can someone bring it on?