Let Go

 One thing I've noticed while meditating. When I'm thinking -  I hold my body much more, it's a lot more tense, particularly in my shoulders. Suddenly , when I notice I'm thinking, I am able to direct my awareness to my shoulders...and let them drop, let them go. And then - I feel my thighs resting on the chair -  and I am IN my body for a few split seconds. Wow! It's like a revelation! To feel all the tension release, even for a moment, relax my breathing lengthen my spine...like I've often read  the Barefoot Doctor explain, (who BTW is ill, and we're sending him best wishes of a speedy recovery). And then a few seconds later...I'm in my head again.

The other day I was tense, worried. My 85 year old Mom decided she's driving to a local mall to meet a friend. Problem is she has dementia, still in very early stages , but it isn't getting better. She refused to have her live-in companion go with her. There was nothing I could do, except make sure she knows the way. Please call me when you get there, I asked. Of course, she didn't, she forgot. And she wasn't answering her cell, which was probably in her bag.

I'm pacing around, anxious, thinking of ways to reach her, calling the cafe' she's supposed to be at and suddenly my almost 11 year old son comes up and  says to me, Ima- you need to let go.

Let Go? How can I let go? Byron Katie often says: Can you let go when it's not available to you? Is that true that it's possible?

But he's right in a way. Maybe another word for it is trust. Trust the Universe  to keep this big ball we're on turning and moving us all in the direction we're supposed to...
I let go. I directed my attention to places I can actually DO something, like my work, even though I'm frustrated there, and no matter how many good tips I read from Jim's Marketing Blog, or read Seth's Blog or  watch all these amazing creative people on the net that I admire like Melissa Dwindle launch great ideas, I still seem to not BREAKTHOUGH.

Still, relatively, it's a place where I have some sense of control.

An hour later- my Mom called to say she's home...

So, How do you let go?