Friday, November 19, 2010
Today I'm resting. I'm going to pretend that I'm sick, because that was the only way I was allowed to stay at home when I was little, and well, now my inner parent is still keeping that up...
I'm going to stay in bed.
Have breakfast in bed, which I just made for myself
Sleep, a lot
A few days ago, I was having a terrible morning.
We were late for school and my daughter was still standing in front of the mirror and brushing her hair. "Yasmin... let's go we're late.." Yes yes just a second"
Finally, I blew up!
" I'm leaving!" I shout.
Suddenly it's all fire inside , in my body. Like a terrible fire that is out of control..
We finally make it to school. Standing in the parking area, kissing and hugging her goodbye, because I do not want to part in an argument, I catch sight of a friend, I wave . She comes close : " How are you?" I smile: S-it I say. So, why are you smiling? she asks. "It's my default" and tears come up. What is it? I make a movement with my hands like a huge mountain in front of me. " Everything's too big, huh?" I nod and fall into her big hug and burst into tears.
"Yael, you've go to rest," she continues. "You do so much. You don't stop, you must find some rest!"
Back home I reflect on how hurried I am in everything. Even eating. I eat a sandwich I can barely sit still, there's so much tension in my body...
Even meditation and yoga are a chore that must be done.
How to rest? How to find relaxation during the day when I find myself so rigid so tight?
Well, they say awareness is the beginning, and I find I have made progress in the last year and a half, yet still, there's a long way to go...
Would love to hear, how do you rest? How do people relax?
p.s. Last night I watched "Julie and Julia". The movie about the writer Julie Powell who got famous for writing a blog about the year she spent making every single recipe from Julia Child's " Mastering The Art of French Cooking". Great film, that also tells the story of two great ladies and their relationships and their passion, their creativity and one-mindedness but more than anything I was inspired by watching the special feature in the DVD about how the movie was made. I noticed that the two key figures that made this film, the producer and the director, were women, and I was inspired by that... a film about two women, by women, not to mention the great Meryl Streep.
And of course, there was a lot of love in all of it
How empowering is that?
Posted by Yael Brisker at Friday, November 19, 2010