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The Art of Fine Metalwork and the Art of Empathy and Nonviolent Communication- woven together for you....

Saturday, January 8, 2011

Pain and Gratitude- strange partners...


Woke up with a paraphrase of Oprah's quote: "Cheers to a new day and another chance to make a fresh start"

And definitely, gratitude for that, and yet, I'm in pain. I have been living in pain for the last few years.
Since my separation basically. It's a pain in my shoulder, and though I had it checked, an ultra sound done, and did yoga for the last almost two years, it's still there, and getting worse! And added to that, lately my right hand -   so stiff and painful I can barely work, write, cut vegetables,  excruciating is the word.

My dentist's secretary says: " If you're nearing fifty and you don't feel pain, then you're dead!"  Well happy as I am to be alive, must I live in pain?

In my meditation this morning, I realize, I am barely breathing! And my body is frozen. The image that comes up is one of a massive Egyptian sculpture, one of those kings sitting frozen on their thrones. I try to soften it, turn it into flesh and bones, like Pinocchio coming to life , but no, that doesn't work, it just seems to make it worse.

And the question that comes up for me is, why I am continuing this? Why am I allowing myself to live in pain? I feel totally dry, brittle , almost.

M greatest sense is that this is the year I need to STOP, make some priorities, and mainly, put myself first...

So how do you, who are hopefully still reading this from time to time, stop?

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