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The Art of Fine Metalwork and the Art of Empathy and Nonviolent Communication- woven together for you....

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Good Day Sunshine?

Why are mornings so hard for me?
I wake up, way too early. 5 am, and immediately, lately, I get a little panic attack
Haven't had those for awhile. And can't get back to sleep...

It's around money, I know. It's around my ability to make money. (As if I make it) Produce. Earn. Bring in. I still have resources I am living on and supporting my kids with, but other than that...nothing's happening! ( Well I'm exaggerating here...I do have a little Renaissance for my Metalwork, yet nothing substantial)
I study. I write, I learn...how about earning?
What's worse is I don't believe in my Ability to to make it happen!
Yes I've sold work, a lot, in the past, but never really MADE it. In terms of a steady stream, of clients. And in getting paid in a way that feels good.
Afraid to ask for what I want , afraid to say it out loud! That I"m worthy!
Frustration all around.
Scared I will never live up to my "potential", that I will blow all my resources away, And go back to taking care of babies for a living. maybe that's what I do best? And who said that's not GOOD ENOUGH??
All this talent and I can't make anything from it?
Scared. plain and simple.That's the feeling.
Aaghhh! Sigh!
Lord, help!

Still, after writing all this down, on paper and then here...a sense of relief.

Suddenly , I hear the birds chirping (it's early morning) for real and from Twitter (-:
And Bob Marley's beginning to sing: " Don't worry, 'bout a ting, 'cause every little thing's , gonna be alright..."

Leaving you with this..how do your morning's start?


  1. "Afraid to ask for what I want , afraid to say it out loud! That I"m worthy!"
    You have now said it outloud. To us. To the world. Believe it, sister. You are most certainly worthy. Know this in your bones, in your flesh, in your heart. You are worthy. Completely. Wholly.

  2. Hello Yael,
    I feel your fear. I've been there, and still am to some extent, but things are looking up all of the time, and I'm more confident about my future than I ever have been.
    This is the quote that was the biggest catalyst in helping me to believe in myself.
    I hope the link works. If it doesn't let me know. I'll find another way to get it to you.

    I believe in you. You are more than allowed to believe in yourself!


  3. Dear Julie!
    Thank you so much... this encouragement means a lot to me...blessings

  4. I totally understand about mornings especially because I haven't had a regular job since March. I have been dealing with the fear as well, but it's more about the fear of not listening to that voice inside that says: do what you love. If you listen to that voice that says you are talented and worthy then you will find that potential. That's when the frustration turns to excitement. Hope your Friday is lovely.

  5. Thank you Jenny
    I know this quote , thank you for reminding me of it! I'm glad to hear of your confidence, it inspires me. Thanks for commenting. With love

  6. Shannon, thanks so much for commenting and sharing your experience. I know the feeling of excitement that comes when doing what I love...just wish the clouds of judgment would blow away faster than they tend to do with me.I will use "Do what you love" as a mantra...thank you!