Thursday, August 12, 2010
Good Day Sunshine?
Why are mornings so hard for me?
I wake up, way too early. 5 am, and immediately, lately, I get a little panic attack
Haven't had those for awhile. And can't get back to sleep...
It's around money, I know. It's around my ability to make money. (As if I make it) Produce. Earn. Bring in. I still have resources I am living on and supporting my kids with, but other than that...nothing's happening! ( Well I'm exaggerating here...I do have a little Renaissance for my Metalwork, yet nothing substantial)
I study. I write, I learn...how about earning?
What's worse is I don't believe in my Ability to to make it happen!
Yes I've sold work, a lot, in the past, but never really MADE it. In terms of a steady stream, of clients. And in getting paid in a way that feels good.
Afraid to ask for what I want , afraid to say it out loud! That I"m worthy!
Frustration all around.
Scared I will never live up to my "potential", that I will blow all my resources away, And go back to taking care of babies for a living. maybe that's what I do best? And who said that's not GOOD ENOUGH??
All this talent and I can't make anything from it?
Scared. plain and simple.That's the feeling.
Still, after writing all this down, on paper and then here...a sense of relief.
Suddenly , I hear the birds chirping (it's early morning) for real and from Twitter (-:
And Bob Marley's beginning to sing: " Don't worry, 'bout a ting, 'cause every little thing's , gonna be alright..."
Leaving you with this..how do your morning's start?
Posted by Yael Brisker at Thursday, August 12, 2010